An Early Memory
An Early Memory, for me, instead of being from a certain young age in my childhood, refers to a definitive span of time that felt like I had finally become conscious in my decision making and acceptance of myself. Before then my experience of life had been so much framed by where I lived, what people thought about or said to me. I was willfully ignorant about everything and liked it that way yet every time I look back I can’t help but think that, up until I was maybe 19, I was not really awake to anything.
I wanted to use imagery that reminds me of home and when I felt like I was “waking up”: that was the original conception of this. I’ve been more worried about a specific warm, tender, and nostalgic mood rather than depicting a specific moment. There was no moment when I felt awake, but specific moments remind me of life and being awoken and alive…
It is meant to remind me of a time when everything began to come together and make sense. Around that time I had so many wonderful memories that surrounded particular fruits, so the berries have their scientific name and location they’re associated with. The footnotes act as a way to convey a “record” of these moments of happiness when I felt like I was finally coming of age. In later prints they’re gone, but that’s because I had a hard time writing the words backward.